Jail Time
by Hildi-chan
Summary: Duo finally gets the chance to get revenge on Heero and Trowa for all the times they tossed him in jail and Wufei is along for the ride. New Chap!
1. Chapter 1 Plans

Title: Jail Time

Author: Hildi-chan

E-mail: AnimeFan1212@aol.com

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Gundam Wing not even Duo *drools*.  So don't sue me, I have no money, but donations are accepted!

Author's Note: I tried not to have any pairings in this fic except Trowa and Quatre, so please don't infer any from the beginning.

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Chapter 1 - Plans

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"What?  Who is in jail?" he questioned as he looked up from the want ads.

"Heero and Trowa," answered Hildi calmly.

Duo grinned deviously, "So those two, are locked up, all alone?"

"Yeah? Duo what are you . . . No Duo you can't do that!" 

"What? They did it to Wufei and me! They'll get it right back, yeah, and maybe Wuffie wants to help!"

"Not if you call him Wuffie! (What am I thinking?) You will rescue them won't you?"

"Yeah, sure, after I get my revenge."

~~~~~~~

(Rrrriiinggggg, Rrrrriiiingggg)"Hello?"

"Hello, Sally?"

"Yes, this is she, who is this?" she answered.

"It's Duo."

"Hi Duo, let me go get Wufei."

"No, no, that's okay, I wanted to talk to you Sally," Duo corrected.

"What for?"

"I just wanted to know, if Wufei has a job?"

"No," answered Sally, "Why, do you have a job for him, because I want him out of the apartment building."

"Great, thanks Sally!" said Duo as he hung up.

Sally shrugged and hung up. 

"Who was that and what did they want?" asked Wufei.

"It was Duo," said Sally.

"What did Maxwell call you for?"

"Good question, all I know is: he wanted to know if you had a job because he got you one . . . or something," she answered.

Duo hung up the phone, he was elated, his plan would work.  He had just called the number for the OZ recruiting office, and they had an opening for guards at the maximum-security prison facility.  Now that he knew Wufei had no job currently, all he had to do was convince Wufei to help.  But, the more Duo thought about it, the more impossible that last step seemed.


	2. Chapter 2 Prisoners

Jail Time 

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 Chapter 2 - Prisoners

 ~~~~~~~

Duo leaned back in his chair.  This was the best job he had ever had.  All he had to do was watch the monitors, which was just like TV.  The only non-relaxing thing was Wufei.  He was still mad because Duo had tricked him into a pie-eating contest.  The prize for Wufei had been no Duo for a month, and Duo's prize had been Wufei would help him get revenge on Heero and Trowa for the times they'd thrown him in jail.  Just then the alarm went off.  Wufei looked to Duo for a cue.  Duo calmly stood up and looked at the monitors.  He saw on the upper right screen a large explosion.  This soothed Duo's fear that the alarm went off, not because Wufei's and his cover had been blown, but because someone was trying to break in.  He motioned for Wufei and the other officer in the room to follow.  Duo pulled his standard issue handgun and moved slowly toward the location of the explosion. 

When the smoke cleared, all Duo could see was the end of a jacket running out of sight.  Duo put on his top speed and raced after the intruder.  He rounded the corner on the maximum-security block to see some blond trying to break in to a cell.  

"Hold it right there!  Put your hands up!  You're surrounded!" shouted Duo as Wufei and several other OZ officers caught up.

The youth turned and Duo struggled to contain his shock.  It was Quatre, obviously trying to save Trowa.  Duo, not wanting to blow their cover, did the only thing he could: he walked over and arrested Quatre.  Quatre calmly allowed Duo to handcuff him not saying a word.  Just then Commander Preaosh, the leader of the base, showed up.  

"What's going on here, Maxwell?!?" asked Preaosh.

"This is an intruder we caught trying to break out prisoners one-eight-four-six-seven-six and one-eight-four-six-seven-seven sir!" answered Duo.

"Well if this little punk wanted to be with his friends so much, throw him in there with'em," Preaosh commanded.

"Aye sir!"

Duo grabbed Quatre's shoulder, put his gun to Quatre's back, and shoved him toward the door to Trowa and Heero's cell.  Then Duo reached in to his pocket and pulled out a control to open the door as Wufei moved in to provide him some cover.  Duo was slightly nervous because neither Trowa nor Heero knew he and Wufei were there.  The door slid open, and Duo shoved Quatre in.  Quatre stumbled forward into Trowa.  Trowa looked shocked (and elated) that Quatre was there.  Heero on the other hand looked straight at Duo with one of his killing glares.  Then Preaosh walked up behind Duo and Wufei.

"So, are you scum having fun?  I got orders today to execute you two and I don't think my commander will mind adding you, blondie."  He laughed.  "I'll get rewarded for killing you Gundam scum.  By the way Maxwell, Chang you'll also be rewarded."


	3. Chapter 3 More Plans

Jail Time      

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Chapter 3 - More Plans

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"Quatre, stop crying.  You're giving Heero a headache." 

"Okay, Trowa, but why would Duo do this!?!  He's my friend!  Why Trowa, why?" sobbed Quatre.

"Heero, could this be one of Duo's jokes?" asked Trowa.

"He could, or even as revenge, that would be just like him; an immature child. (How did he become a gundam pilot?) But one thing still puzzles me Trowa, why would Wufei help him play a trick?"

"Yeah, and why would he do this to us? We're his friends," wined Quatre.

"Don't worry Quatre.  If Duo doesn't get us out of this place we'll get ourselves out," promised Heero.

"Hnn," agreed Trowa.

Quatre finally took the time to look around their cell.  There was literally nothing in it but floor, walls and ceiling; which were all a dull blackish-gray.  He held back the urge to start crying again.  He knew that Duo had to be there to rescue them.

 ~~~~~~~

"What do we do now Wufei?  I didn't think that Quatre would show up; he doesn't deserve to be thrown in jail."

" Solve it yourself Maxwell, I wouldn't be here except that my sense of honor dictates that I can't leave because you won."  "Even though you cheated and besides Sally will kill me if I come back before we finish this stupid plan," Wufei muttered.

"Okay then the only thing we can do is break all of them out."  I wanted to torture Heero for a little longer though, Duo thought.

"Fine."

"We can do it tonight."

~~~~~~~

"Maxwell, I have new orders for you.  You are to transfer the 3 prisoners to the Luxembourg base immediately."

"Yes sir Commander Preaosh.  Who should I take with me?"

"Take any three upstanding persons of your choice."

"Alright sir.  I'll take Chang, Deskins, and Hirsch."

"Fine good choices Maxwell, now get a move on."

Duo moved quickly out of the room; this was just the break he had needed.  Now all he had to do was pull it off and get out alive.

~~~~~~~

"This is the plan: When the guard opens the door we will jump 'em, and steel his gun and keys."

"Okay Heero! What do I get to do?"

"Quatre you can grab the keys, and Trowa you jump the guard, I'll handle the gun."

~~~~~~~

"That's your plan Maxwell?!  That's it?!  To go in to get them and the other two act as back up, then, once we have driven several miles away, we jump the other two, release Heero, Trowa, and Quatre and make a getaway all together?" questioned Wufei.

"Yep!" *smile* answered Duo.

"Fine.  It's your foolish plan, and when it fails, which it will, I'll be there."


	4. Chapter 4 Escapees

Jail Time

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Chapter 4 - Escapees

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Duo and Wufei headed down the hall followed by Arnold Deskins and George Hirsch.   Once they reached the cell, Duo (since he was in charge, teehee) was going to have Wufei go in to get the prisoners out, while the other two backed him up.

~~~~~~~

"Everybody ready, 'cause here they come!" Heero whispered urgently.

"I am, but I don't wanna hurt anybody.  Why do we have to fight?" sniffled Quatre.

"We're not going to hurt anyone, unless they try to stop us (which is inevitable)." Heero answered impatiently.

"Okay, but... Trowa, are you still alive?"

In response, Trowa just turned to look at Quatre, his face blank (what a surprise).

Just then, the lock clicked, ending all conversation for the moment.  Just as the lock sprung open, the three prisoners scuttled to their "attack" positions.  The door swung open, and a guard stepped into the cell.

~~~~~~~

Moments earlier Duo, Wufei, Deskins, and Hirsch walked down the hallway toward the cell containing the three Gundam pilots.

"Who goes in there to get those three out?" Wufei asked, barely able to keep the anticipation/nervousness out of his voice.

"Well, I was thinking that you, since you seem so anxious, should go in there and get the little rats out." Duo replied.

"Oh, shit," Wufei muttered to himself.  "They are going to kill me for getting them thrown in jail."

"We're here."

"I never would have guessed," grumbled Wufei as he fumbled with the door lock.

As the door swung open, Wufei stepped up to the dim room.  There was absolutely no movement in the darkness.  And then, as he moved forward, the shadows seemed to explode as three dark figures lunged for him, while he stood, transfixed with surprise. One figure with trademark hair (Trowa) dashed passed him out the door, dealing the backup guards a series of fluid punches and kicks.  This was followed immediately by three thuds and a grunt of.... surprise (?). The other two shadows, in the meantime, dove directly for his waist...eep.  This could not be a good sign, since the two were the serious Heero, and the meek Quatre.  Those two diving for him was never good.  The meeker of the two divers drove his hand into Wufei's pocket, grabbed the keys, and then immediately retreated.  It must have been Quatre.  Heero, on the other hand, hopefully, remembered that Wufei never carried his gun in his pants (gulp).  Thankfully, Wufei had the presence of mind to step aside, allowing Heero to fall flat on his face.  Wufei glared down at him.

"Sorry Heero, but you were not going to have the chance to look for my gun.  Quatre stop sitting in the corner looking so forlorn, it's Wufei."

"I noticed."  Trowa stood in the doorway of the cell.  "Duo suffered the least amount of damage.  He'll be fine."

Duo staggered to his feet, holding his arm across his stomach for at least minimal support.  "Uhhg, Trowa, why do you have to punch so hard?"  He paused, "What am I saying?!  Let's get outta here, now!"


	5. Chapter 5 Crazy Drivers

Jail Time 

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Chapter 5 - Crazy Drivers

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"So, now that we've figured out which one of the (two) vehicles the keys belong to, who drives?" Heero queried. (Author's Note: For those of you out there who dislike fancy English class type words *glares at a certain pre-reader* this means 'asked'.)

"I could drive, since I am one of the few among us with a drivers license," Quatre volunteered.

"Yes, and we would get caught going five miles under the speed limit, just as the driving instructor suggests.  I'm the one with the most driving experience, and I haven't had a wreak on my motorcycle yet." Wufei chipped in.

"I, too, can drive, and a motorcycle is very different." Trowa stated in his usual monotone voice.

"Well, we can't hang around much longer, unless you want to be thrown back in jail. Since I have the keys, I'll drive," proclaimed Duo.

"Anyone but Maxwell", stated Wufei. 

Duo grinned back.  "Don't look now, but those OZ bakas are coming.  So, if you don't get in now, you can all go back to the execution block, but me, I'm getting out of here now.  So, you guys coming or not?"  Duo turned and stepped into the drivers seat.

Quatre, smiling got into the backseat.  "Duo, I believe you can pull it off.  Come on Trowa, get in the back with me, pleeeeeease," begged Quatre as he patted the set next to him and smiled his special smile that was meant for Trowa alone.

"Quatre, did anyone ever tell you that you were a pervert?" Wufei demanded with disgust.  "To prevent any disgusting displays, I volunteer to sit in the middle of the backseat.  Trowa, you sit in the front."

Silently, Trowa stepped into the front seat.  "You know, Wufei," he commented while buckling his seat belt, "Quatre would not have let anyone sitting between us stop him."

Wufei shuddered.  "No!  Quatre, you are not sitting behind Trowa," Wufei shouted as the blond boy attempted to sit.  "That's almost as bad!  Sit behind Duo.  That way, we can make sure that our drive home will be G rated."

As soon as everyone was in the car, Duo floored the break pedal.  "Oops... wrong pedal."  Sweatdrop.

~~~~~~~

Three minutes later, they were six miles away.  (Author's Note: Yes, six miles.  If you do the math, that works out to a speed of about 120 mph. *Grin*  I love math class.)

"Uhhh, Duo, you can slow down now.  I mean I finally got my lips peeled off my teeth."

"Quatre, you're not one to be whining.  You aren't in the front.  I'm more concerned that the windshield is going to fall in."

"Hey, I know what I'm doing, don't worry.  Well, actually, I don't know what I'm doing, but that's all right.  I haven't killed anyone... in the car I mean... yet... And besides I haven't let not knowing what I'm doing stop me before."

"Stop complaining all of you; OZ has sent out mobile suits and they're catching up," Wufei ordered.


	6. Chapter 6 Explanations

Jail Time 

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Chapter 6 - Explanations

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Disclaimer: No own. Broke. (How was that?  Short and sweet.)

Thanks to those few who reviewed my fic:

Priya-chan – Thanks, I loved writing that driving scene as much as you liked to read it.

Sailormoonluvr – This chapter should quench your thirst for an update (at least for a while).

Please more reviews, everyone do your part! Now without further ado, here's Chapter 6 – Explanations.

"Cool it Wu-man!" Duo said. (Who else?) "I have a plan."

"Oh I can't wait to see this!  I should hope it's better than the last few!"

"Of course," Duo grinned as he began searching his pockets for something.  "Here take the wheel Trowa."  He began pulling out hair ties, floor wax, plastic explosives, some bullets, a green checker piece, and who knows what else.  The pile grew and grew.

"What the hell are you looking for Maxwell?"

"Aaha!"

"What?"

Duo continued ignoring Wufei completely, "Found it."

Duo held a small black thingy with a red button; it looked like a detonator.  He flipped the cover on the button and pressed it.

"There, now we just have to wait," Duo said proudly taking the wheel back from Trowa.

 "WHAT exactly did that DO?" asked Quatre.

"Oh yeah!  I figured something might go wrong. I mean who can really predict what Heero's gonna do? Anyway, I told Sally, Dorothy, and Hildi (Wufei muttered something about weak onnas but Duo didn't hear him) what I was planning.  I had them ready to help out if need be.  Ya' see that button told them basically that something went wrong and we need our gundams."

"Wow, Duo you really planned ahead!  Why didn't you tell me about your rescue plans?" Quatre asked excitedly.

Duo scratched his head, "Um well …"

"It wasn't a rescue plan!  He wanted to get Yuy and Barton back for locking him up all those times," Wufei informed him.

"Figures," Trowa stated quietly.

Heero nodded, "So why were you helping Duo?"

"Damned Maxwell had Sally in on it and they tricked me in to it."

"Yeah, that was one of my better schemes," Duo said rubbing his hands together.

"Shut up!  And just DRIVE," Wufei snapped.

Suddenly, before Duo could come up with a snide response, there was an explosion to their left.  Duo stopped the car on the opposite side of the road.

"You baka keep driving!  Now we're stationary targets."

"Wu-man, like I said before, cool it, I have this under control.  We just need to stall till the girls get here.  Now everybody out!"

With much grumbling (from Wufei) everyone cleared the car and followed Duo into the middle of the road.  A group of mobile suits quickly surrounded them.  One of the suits stepped forward, the cockpit opened, a men stepped out, and climbed to the ground.  He straightened himself and stepped forward.

"Maxwell, Chang, what happened?  How could two of my best officers allow themselves to be taken by this worthless gundam scum?" Preaosh asked.

"Well pal…" Duo began; he paused because Preaosh was sputtering, "Problem?"

"You will address me as Sir or Commander, Maxwell!"

"Yeah, umm…sure! Don't you see pal what's going on?" Duo gestured behind him to the other four pilots.  "There are a total of five of us and five gundam pilots.  Of the two you don't have in 'custody' one is described as an American boy approximately 16 with a three foot brunette braid," he held out his hair to demonstrate, "and the other," he continued while Preaosh gaped at him, "is a Chinese boy again 16ish," Duo finished gesturing at Wufei.

Preaosh was shocked and puzzled, "Meaning?"

"Meaning," Wufei cut in, "your two perfect officers standing here are the last two gundam pilots!"

Preaosh's jaw was on the floor, "But…but…"

"Let me clarify that's," Duo pointed at Mr. Perfect Soldier, "Heero Yuy – pilot 01, I'm Duo Maxwell – pilot 02, that's," pointing at the silent clown, "Trowa Barton – pilot 03, that's" gesturing toward the Q-man, "Quatre Rababa Winner – pilot 04, and this," putting his hand on Wu-wu's shoulder, "is Chang Wufei – pilot 05."

Preaosh's jaw hardened; he had been tricked.  These five teens were the five pilots!  Why hadn't he seen it?  "You scum!"

"Wow, give him a prize!  Johnny, tell him what he's won!" (AN: Bet you can guess who this is…if you can't it's Duo.)

"Why you…" Preaosh didn't get to finish his threat because just then three carrier planes landed nearby.

~~~~~~~

AN: How was that? I had the hardest time writing it.  I had to go buy a jackhammer to get rid of my writer's block.  The moron at the store didn't want to sell it to me, something about not selling dangerous machinery to minors, go figure.  Anyway please review!  I want two more before I continue.  More reviews quicker chapter!  Thanks a lot. Love, Hildi-chan ^_^v!


	7. Chapter 7 Endings part 1

Jail Time 

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Chapter 7 – Endings part one

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Disclaimer: Check my previous chapters!

Thanks to those few who reviewed my fic:

Songwind- ^_^ Yeah! Songgie-dono I love me in your ficcie! Yuki's sooo kawaii and all mine. Thanks for taking time away from your great stories to read and review mine.

Tiamat2- Here's my update (yes I know it took forever) so where's yours?

Heather- Finally I have added more to the story and this is the end!

Gigglegirl- Thanks I think I write good humor too.

Shadowofdragons- Sorry for the wait but here's the conclusion.

Panchan1- I hope you were careful with the jackhammers they can be dangerous!

Grevola- Thanks for your support.

Zero- Sorry about the cliffies but now they will be no more (in this fic anyway).

Please more reviews, everyone do your part! 

H-chan: Hello again all! Here's the finally chapter in everybody's favorite fic: Jail Time.

Duo: THIS is everyone's favorite?

H-chan: SHUT UP! No more comments from you MAXWELL!

Duo: Wow you sound just like Wu-man when you do that.

H-chan: (Not dignifying Duo-kun's comment with a response.) Anyhoo please enjoy the conclusion to the best funny little GW fic you will ever read.

~~~~~~~

Sally jumped out of the first plane.  Hildi and Dorothy soon followed out of the other two.

"Duo, brought what you wanted plus something extra," Sally informed him.

"It's not something dirty is it babe?" Duo smirked.

Sally frowned and ignored the American pilot.  She knew that if she responded it would only create an opening for Duo to somehow (who really knew how) make it much worse and much more perverted to be sure.

Preaosh was too shocked by the sudden appearance of the aircraft to give any orders, so his men just waited to see what was going to happen next.  Whatever did happen it certainly wouldn't be boring or expected.

How right they were, because at that moment out of Sally's carrier plane stepped none other than Zechs himself.  He walked forward 'til he was next to Sally and waited for the inevitable question.

"What are you doing here?" Heero questioned in his monotone. (AN: Yes that was the question I was referring to.)

"I came to save the 'perfect' soldier: Mr. Heero Yuy of course," Zechs responded sarcastically.

Sally elbowed him and proceeded to cut off the argument that was surely about to start. "No.  He came because Relena found out about Duo's plan from Dorothy and…"

"Not my fault!" Shouted Dorothy cutting Sally off.

"I know," Sally rubbed the bridge of her nose in frustration, "but anyway she found out from Dorothy and so Relena sent her brother Zechs here to help.  Ya' know not even 'the lightening count' himself can stand to hear HER whine forever."

Heero cringed having been on the receiving end of those same whines far too often.

Duo smirked, "Okay lets get a move on before the brilliant Commander Preaosh wakes up from his nappie-poo."

Hildi giggled lightly, "Right-o Shinigami, Sir!" She saluted smartly.

Preaosh sputtered, and then sputtered some more. A thousand thoughts were racing through his poor confused mind, not all of them relevant, however 'why me?' was at the forefront. At this point the pilots were ready to wreck absolute havoc on the base and were not waiting for Preaosh to give any orders.

A large explosion blew the commander off his feet and to his senses, "Get them you men and don't let them escape!"

No one save Duo was listening and he was only timing to see how long it took the man to do something, anything.  "Nine minutes and forty-two seconds," he announced to the others.

"That's nice Duo, but what dose that have to do with the fight?" Quatre asked merely curious.

"The commander's awake, and trying to give orders," the braided pilot responded with a laugh.  "No point though seeing as of…" he paused to destroy an attacking mobile suit, "…now, he has no one to command."

~~~~~~~

Several short hours later they all had retired back to one of Quatre's houses for an after fight celebration.

~~~~~~~

Sorry all but I had to post something. I've been stuck at this point for about a month and a half. I figured a partial chapter was better than nothing. I'm still tring to get out a final scene that's post battle but I can't get anything that works quite right with the story. Please include suggestions in your reviews. Who knows if one of you comes up with something this could actually get finished. So please read and review. Hildi-chan ^_^v


	8. Chapter 7part2 Important Notes

Hildi: Hello all! I know I haven't updated anything in a while but I have writer's block on both.

Duo: But you're so close on Jail Time!

Hildi: I know, I pains me…

Duo: mumbles pains me too…

Hildi: I heard that!

Duo: (hides)

Hildi: Anyhoo, I have this great new fic idea and I want a co-author or at least a beta for the project. This is to help ensure that I finish and so it is good quality! The fic will be an Escaflowne and Harry Potter crossover. I don't want to give away too much but basically some of the Escaflowne characters are related to some of the Harry Potter characters. My idea is much deeper and more involved than that but I will only give full details to who ever wants to help me out. Knowledge of both series is required! If two people volunteer than one could be the co-author and the other beta! Most of the fic will probably take place in the HP world. Thanks in advance to all those who respond.


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